Get Married Again, Doing it Right
People Who Get Divorced Still Get Married Again, With More Wisdom
Almost like clockwork, several men and women who married right out of high school end up filing for a divorce from the wrong person, and they wan to get married again and do things right. Marriages, divorces and the birth of new children seem to happen to people in waves and as their peers take big steps in life.
Getting a divorce at as a young adult is can be scary, especially if for people who have never been on their own. Add the responsibility of raising kids, co-parenting and dealing child support and custody issues and it is easy for newly single parents to get married again quickly, just to have someone to lean on and help.
Today, however, people seem less likely to rush into another marriage just because life is challenging. The more wisdom we use to make more rational and long-term plans, the more likely we are to get married again to someone who is right for us, not simply available and interested.
Collin county divorce attorney, Mark L. Scroggins is board-certified in family law, and he sees first-hand how often rushing to get married again quickly doesn’t always work out. But there is hope for people who wait, they can meet the right person when they and their family is ready.
Technology Allows Us to Meet New People Easily
Getting married right out of school made more sense in days when it was more difficult to meet new people. Today there are more websites, apps and meet-up groups to help us meet new people. Technology can be a double-edged sword, however. As we can screen new mates by scrolling and reviewing their social profiles, it is too easy to make assumptions and prematurely discard potential partners.
Back to social media, we have more opportunities to watch other people and compare notes with our friends. Social feedback is important. When your friends’ gut reactions to new people you date are pointed, it makes sense to take notice. Of course, nobody else walks in your shoes, but when a friend sees something we miss because we are so in love, it can cause us to slow things down.
Divorce Statistics Scared Some into Waiting to Get Married
How many people have heard parents of adult children, “What’s the rush to get married, you know how many young marriages end in divorce?” The world is an uncertain place and one way reduce uncertainty is to get married to someone who can never leave.
That said, people can leave, and it is not that difficult for a young couple to get a divorce, so where is the certainty?
Increased Understanding About Co-Parenting
One positive aspect of getting married again in current days is the prevalence of divorced co-parents in the dating pool. It is almost difficult to find a single person over 35 who has not been married, divorced or had children with someone. People are used to co-parenting and dating people with an ex-spouse, children and custody arrangements.
There is Less Pressure for Young Adults to Get Married Again After Divorce
The taboo of being a single parent is no longer such a stigmatizing mark. No longer does your entire community start playing matchmaker the day after the ink on the divorce decree is dry. People want others to be happy and are supportive of people who want to stay single for a while and focus on being a good parent.
Being a great parent means spending quality time with your children, one on one. The revolving door of potential new partners puts children in peril. We mention uncertainty and stress the risk of creating unnecessary anxiety and uncertainty in children when they have no idea where their parent is headed or what they are planning.
Mark L. Scroggins has more to say about this – listen to his podcast, “Introducing Your New Partner: Focusing on Children.”
It is okay to stay single and be a good parent. The longer you wait, the more you might learn about yourself. The better you know yourself, the easier it is to spot the right new person for you.
People Are More Accepting of Mental Health Counseling and Premarital Agreements
What used to be called “Couple’s Counseling” is any form of mental health consulting and service. Many insurance plans pay for people to go see someone to get help spotting things they can’t see. In a recent article by Scroggins Law Group, we talk about mental health professionals and questions people have about “Living Together Before Marriage.”
Talking to someone about concerns over when to get married again after divorce is smart.
Parents looking to get married again also worry about their children. How will they protect themselves and their children if their next marriage doesn’t work out? The answer and peace of mind to many is found in a well-drafted and legally enforceable premarital agreement. Mark’s tips on point are found right here in our blog at, “Premarital Agreements Prevent Conflict and Lead to Peace of Mind.”
Mark L. Scroggins Always Talks About Waiting and Doing Things Right
Topics of love and marriage often come up in discussion on the Scroggins Law Group podcast series. Mark frequently talks about the risks of rushing into anything too quickly and how getting married again too early when they have kids could end up steering someone straight into a custody modification trial.
Avoid pitfalls and be smart about life. For smart legal advice and representation, call on Scroggins Law Group, PLLC. The team of talented trial attorneys, paralegals and support staff are there for you. Mark L. Scroggins and Scroggins Law Group serve families in Dallas, Collin and Denton Counties. Contact or call today (214) 469-3100.